You clipped my car you idiot!
I’m parking up in one of the roads near to work, as it’s always impossible to park in my work’s car park. There’s no spaces so i’m looking around for a space. I finally see one and have to go up the road, turn round and then come back to park in it. As i’m parking a queue starts to develop behind me so I quickly pull into the space, which I do fine first time, although admittedly a bit close to the car in front.
Then this woman who’s been waiting in the car infront, gets out and starts shouting at me saying i’ve clipped her car!
So I also get out and say i’m really sorry and that i didn’t realise that i had clipped her car. If i had, then it was a complete accident – I was in a rush as there was a queue behind me. I take a better look at her bumper and there is a definite paint/scrape mark (although only small) so it must have been me. The car does look a bit old and battered overall. I think it’s a really old Mondeo or similar.
But she’s still shouting at me and being really snotty about the whole thing, so after a bit I get annoyed and point out the fact that as her parking is so bad (the rear of her car was parked about two feet from the kerb at an angle) the whole thing is really her fault and she should try to be more considerate to other road users! So she stands there aghast and says in an enraged way ‘How very dare you!’. In a perfect, Catherine Tate kind of way – it’s the catch phrase of one of her characters ‘Derek’.
Which I find really funny so break out into a big grin. Which she finds even more annoying and starts getting more irate! Which in turn makes me start to laugh at the whole situation.
So i’m there in the middle of the street with people walking by, staring at us, with me laughing and folding my arms while she’s going off on one and waving her arms about!! It was a surreal situation.
So eventually I give my details, name, address and telephone and car reg. And i take a picture of her bumper on my phone and ask her if she wants to do the same. She looks surprised, ums and ers and says she’ll be in touch. We part our separate ways and I go to work feeling bemused by the whole turn of events. I really didn’t mean to start laughing at her but she was being far too irate about the whole thing and got my back up.
So I go to work wondering if my car will be vandalised/scratched etc when I come back, fretting the whole day about whether she may also try to bill me for a bumper respray.
Fortunately though when I get back to the car it looks fine. I suspiciously walk round it and give it a good check and find nothing wrong. The weeks also go by and I also hear nothing from her.
Even now when I think about her saying ‘How very dare you!’ it brings tears of laughter to my eyes, although I do feel guilty for winding her up. Classic!